This weekend we spent time with some wonderful friends. Three of my friends are expecting and I couldn’t be more excited for all of them. One of them asked me if I was following along week by week of our babies growth because we’re adopting. I said I’m not because I’m still trying to keep a healthy separation in case something goes wrong (but I honestly have faith that the birth mom isn’t going to change her mind). After thinking about this for a couple days and receiving an update on babycenter.com I realized why I really don’t follow along each week. I signed up for those emails to know what was happening but when I get them I can’t read them. The updates are full of advice for pregnant moms, what to eat, what to do for exercise, how to keep the baby healthy, etc. That doesn’t apply to me and really only makes me feel helpless. I can’t do the things for our baby that they suggest. I can only pray for the birth mom and that she can do those things to take care of herself and the baby. It also just reminds me like a kick in the face that I am still infertile just like the doctors say I am. I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone, I”m just stating my reality.
Although this is my reality it doesn’t make this adoption any less of a miracle or less exciting for us. Because that’s exactly how I see it; A perfect gift from the Lord in His perfect timing.