Jody McComas

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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

I’m thankful for good books. I’m always trying to read to help me grow. I think that we need to be constant learners and reading is one of the greatest ways to do that. I recently read a book called Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. It was recommended by a friend whose friend was reading it in her seminary class.

I don’t know about you but I want to raise an intelligent child in all areas. Who doesn’t right? I know that the things that we teach our children now will shape them forever, for better or worse. Emotions are tricky and something that I can let get the better of me and honestly I don’t want to pass on the “crazy” if you will so this book was really insightful and challenging. Here are the 5 main things he talks about:

1. Being aware of the child’s emotion
2. Recognizing the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
3. Listening empathetically and validating the child’s feelings
4. Helping the child verbally label emotions
5. Setting limits while helping the child problem-solve

The types of parenting styles he talked through were: Dismissing, Disapproving. Laissez-Faire and Emotion coaching. I won’t go into detail in any of these (I just suggest reading the book).

There is so much I could say on this topic. What about you? Do you naturally do those 5 things with your kids? I know that it’s hard for me to do but I also know that I want my kids to know that what they feel is valid and that I love them enough to walk through it with them so they can become mature, healthy adults.

Jody McComas

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