During the wedding ceremony this weekend the pastor said, “There is no such thing as being stagnant in marriage. It’s either getting better or getting worse.” He didn’t elaborate on this much at all but I kept thinking about it, and still am. Great marriages take work, all the time. I’m thankful that our marriage is better today than it’s ever been. But the reason that’s true is that we make our relationship a priority (and we extend a lot of grace to each other). It doesn’t just happen. With life, work, kids, etc. nothing great just “happens”; it takes initiative. But man, it’s so worth it. Anything great is worth working hard for.
The question is What am I doing to make it better? It’s so easy to sit back and think to myself, “well if my husband did _____, _____, and ______ our marriage would be better (for me of course). The only person I am responsible for is me. I need to walk with God for myself, improve my flaws, and focus on being the best wife I can be so our marriage is sweet. When I do my job my husband is more free to do his.
Here are some things that I try to keep in mind to make my marriage stronger:
- Pray for my husband and our marriage.
- Ask for forgiveness when needed (I am not good at this. I’m a total blamer. Sad I know.) and be one who forgives.
- Ask how I can help him out. What would make his day easier? (I also don’t wake up thinking this. I think “If Matt could do this today my day would be so much smoother.”)
- Respect him. Talk highly of him, especially in front of others. Don’t treat him like an idiot. That’s right I said idiot. I can turn around and talk to my husband like he’s my 4 year old. He’s not, and that never goes over well.
- Take the initiative; to go on a date, to pray together, to be physical, etc. (oh my, did I just mention that?!) We can still initiate and let our husband lead well.
- Do something unexpected to show him I love him.
Just writing this short list makes me realize how much room I have to grow; Always a work in progress. What about you? What would you add to this list? How do you make your marriage stronger?