If you’re a mom then you know what it feels like to be totally and completely spent. I just feel so tired. At the end of the year much of our time is spent evaluating the year (school year) and planning for the next. Just because I’m not on campus doesn’t mean I don’t do that anymore. Today has been an emotional day for me. The sleep deprivation has gotten the best of me. We have endured a lot of change in the past year, much of it amazing and a blessing from the Lord for sure. But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausting. Our vacation is coming at a most needed and miraculous time really. Being a mom is amazing and the best gift but we all need breaks. Some days I feel like a bad mom because of lack of patience with Jenna. I like silence from time to time and well, she’s a talker.
One of the things that I fear is messing up my kids. I know, every parent has this fear. I asked a wise staff woman for advice and she said, “ask for forgiveness, a lot.” And so I do. I ask Jenna for forgiveness when I need to and I’m so thankful that she has a soft heart and forgives. We both learn in the process. I went to Ann Voskamp’s blog tonight and read this. I thought it was very timely and encouraging.
It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It is what you do with it, when you do.
Perhaps there was something more powerful to experience than a perfect Mother: the wonder of a committed Mother who simply humbles herself.
Like that Shepherd who knew the cost of relationship, chose to pay the price, and, staggeringly, “humbled Himself… even to the point of death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).
All that to say, I’m thankful for the grace of God. I’m thankful for my kids. I’m thankful that Matt and I are going to be blessed with a vacation soon. I’m thankful that I’ll come back refreshed and rested (Lord willing) and be a better mom, wife, and servant of the Lord.