Just So Tired

If you’re a mom then you know what it feels like to be totally and completely spent. I just feel so tired. At the end of the year much of our time is spent evaluating the year (school year) and planning for the next. Just because I’m not on campus doesn’t mean I don’t do that anymore. Today has been an emotional day for me. The sleep deprivation has gotten the best of me. We have endured a lot of change in the past year, much of it amazing and a blessing from the Lord for sure. But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausting. Our vacation is coming at a most needed and miraculous time really. Being a mom is amazing and the best gift but we all need breaks. Some days I feel like a bad mom because of lack of patience with Jenna. I like silence from time to time and well, she’s a talker.

One of the things that I fear is messing up my kids. I know, every parent has this fear. I asked a wise staff woman for advice and she said, “ask for forgiveness, a lot.” And so I do. I ask Jenna for forgiveness when I need to and I’m so thankful that she has a soft heart and forgives. We both learn in the process. I went to Ann Voskamp’s blog tonight and read this. I thought it was very timely and encouraging.

Relationships cost.

It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It is what you do with it, when you do.

Perhaps there was something more powerful to experience than a perfect Mother: the wonder of a committed Mother who simply humbles herself.

Like that Shepherd who knew the cost of relationship, chose to pay the price, and, staggeringly, “humbled Himselfeven to the point of death on a cross” (Phil 2:8).

All that to say, I’m thankful for the grace of God. I’m thankful for my kids. I’m thankful that Matt and I are going to be blessed with a vacation soon. I’m thankful that I’ll come back refreshed and rested (Lord willing) and be a better mom, wife, and servant of the Lord.

3 thoughts on “Just So Tired”

  1. Oh, dear friend. I so resonate with this. I just about snapped Blake’s head off today. After telling him one too many times that I needed some quiet after a particularly trying and naughty experience with him (I was too angry to discipline and passed it off to Rob), he pulled one too many faux needy manipulations. I snipped “LEAVE ME ALONE!” and stalked off to the bedroom with a book and my beer.

    It was a really godly moment for me.

    I went into his room within the half hour and apologized for how I had treated him. As soon as he saw my eyes fill with tears (pretty much on the third word), he threw his arms around my neck. And just like I always say to him, he said to me: “I will always forgive you.”

  2. You are such a wonderful mom Jody. I can only hope that I am as patient, kind, loving, and of course fun with Mason as you are with your children. What a wonderful bit of advice you received from that staff woman. I am going to take this advice and keep in my mind and heart because unfortunately, at some point, I know I will need it. I pray Mason also has a soft and forgiving heart and that he always knows how much I deeply love him.

    I am praying for an incredibly amazing trip for you two. You really deserve it!!!


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