Today has been……challenging. Sometimes it just feels like you’re pissing in the wind. Not in the oh that’s exhilarating kind of way (if that’s even possible) but the not so good kind of way. It’s just one of those days.
I go from extremes minute to minute. One minute trusting God and recalling how He has been so faithful all these years and we’ve never gone without what we need. To totally fearful and stressed out that we still own a house and what if we don’t get renters?, what if they trash it?, etc. And then to really angry that we still own a house, we aren’t there to check on things, the rent doesn’t cover the mortgage, we moved because God asked us to and yet, He has not allowed our house to sell. Then there’s the house we live in which is so great in many ways but there’s so much wrong with it and I sit and think about how great our home in Bozeman is, all new and shiny and just how I wanted because we picked most of it.
I know in the grand scheme of things this is not that terrible. There are many people suffering greater things than this but it still causes stress. Being landlords was the last thing either of us wanted. It’s just another reminder that we cannot trust in things, find our satisfaction in our houses or belongings, and I need to keep my eyes on Christ. I don’t see the whole picture. I don’t understand His timing or ways, I don’t always “feel” good about what’s happening. BUT, I have to go back to what I know to be true and trust that God does see the big picture, life is more about His plan, His glory, and my becoming more like him. So, I’ll try and dry my sniveling tears and keep my heart soft because the alternative is just not pretty.
I took this picture after we moved into our house. It was from our bedroom window and I could spend all day staring out that window. If I would have know then I would have to move and allow others to rent “my” house I would have said “NO way.” But here we are today. I miss that view and I’m having to trust God to provide renters to move into it. So pray with us that someone will rent it by May and they too will get to enjoy the incredible view from this window.