New Year New You right? We’ve heard that thrown around a lot and I do love a good chance to start again, but just because the new year rolls over doesn’t mean that we magically leave everything behind, especially the grief we are carrying. In fact, it might feel heavier and more daunting than ever to see the new year begin.
Maybe it’s because the last year didn’t turn out like you expected, hoped or dreamed of in some way?
Maybe you lost someone you love.
Maybe you lost a friendship that mattered to you.
Maybe you spent holidays alone and aren’t sure where to find community in the coming year.
Maybe you spent the holidays with family and it was really challenging, painful or even harmful.
Instead of walking into the new year feeling hopeful, maybe you’re feeling sad, a sense of failure, lonely, disappointed, bewildered or heartbroken?
To make it worse you may have people telling you that you should feel excited or ready for the new year. That you “should” be moving on, “should” be thankful for the experiences you had, even if they were hard, after all “God always has a plan.” Those statements are never helpful and can just increase the grief you already feel.
The thought of walking into a new year without someone you love can feel terrifying and overwhelming.
The thought of hoping for something again when it just left you so disappointed last year can feel like a dumb or dangerous thing to do.
Those are all feelings of lingering grief. And they don’t just go away when you tell them it’s a new year or it’s time to move on. It’s not mind over matter because we don’t just heal with our mind, we have to heal with our heart involved in the process as well.
When hard things happen or things don’t go as we hoped for, we can tuck those things in our backpack and convince ourselves to just keep moving. But, if we don’t learn to process them, they don’t go away, they just get heavier.
Here’s the good news.
You’re not broken. You’re grieving.
You’re normal.
You are having a human experience.
You don’t need fixed.
You need the space to acknowledge the grief, a safe place to process and the steps to unpack the metaphorical backpack so you can move forward with more peace and hope.
If you’re grieving, and I truly believe we are all grieving something, the world is a hard place right now AND even if you had the most amazing 2025, leaving that behind brings a sadness as well. It’s hard to leave amazing things behind and you don’t know that this coming year will bring the same success or joy. A helpful thing to remember is that grief is the normal and natural reaction to change or loss of any kind, even the good kind.
As you walk into the new year carrying grief, remember these 6 things:
- You are not broken. You are having a human experience. Feelings, all feelings, are okay. We often think that if we choose to acknowledge them that they will take over and sink us. The reality is that when we acknowledge them and feel them they take about 90 seconds to move through our body and then we can move forward. It’s when we suppress them that becomes the problem for us, now and into the future.
- Give yourself grace and space to be where you are. There is no timeline for grief. We each have our own path, timeline and experience it differently.
- Set just one goal or intention for the week/month/year. When I’m feeling overwhelmed I ask myself, “Can I do this one thing?” And I almost always know that I can. Every small step is a success.
- Reach out to a friend, loved one or community for support. We are never alone and do not have to walk through grief alone. If you find that a friend isn’t able to support you in your grief, don’t give up. Find a different friend or support person.
- Go for a walk or move your body in some way. A great way to move emotions through our body is to actually move your body. Even better is to do that with a friend so you can process while you move.
- Consider signing up to do 7 weeks of Grief Recovery with a Specialist like myself. You will learn so much in this process that will help you for a lifetime. You will be able to process grief in a safe space and with a proven process that will bring much needed healing. It can feel overwhelming to consider something like this but one of the great things with the Grief Recovery Method is that it’s a set time, a proven method and you get someone who is certified to walk you through it. I’d love to help you or at least point you to the right fit for you.
May you find that this year brings unexpected joys, even in the midst of the grief you are walking through.