It happens a lot at bath time. Our bathroom is an odd shape so if you’re in the tub you sometimes can’t see everyone who’s in the room. So Isaac will be taking his bath and I’m standing around the corner, but still only a couple feet away, he’ll call for me like I’ve left the room. “Mom, where are you? Moooommmmm!” I answer “I’m right here buddy.” He responds, “But mom, I can’t see you.” “I know sweetie but I’m right here.” This happens multiple times a week. But tonight when this happened it was like God said to me in the midst of it, “This sounds familiar doesn’t it? You ask me all the time, Are you still there? Where are you when I haven’t even left the room?”
It’s in the moments of uncertainty about future, Am I still made for this job? God are you still in this? It’s in the moments of financial uncertainty, another unexpected expense, or a short paycheck. God are still there? It’s in the moments of discouragement at parenting, am I cut out for this? Am I ruining my kids by my own sin and dysfunction? God are you still there guiding me? It’s in the physical ailments, God why another way my body doesn’t function well? Why a lifetime of chronic pain? God are you seeing this? It’s in the moments when I hear another story of pain, another child or friend with cancer, another life cut short. God did you leave the room and allow this? God are you still there? I’m so prone to question and doubt.
Even when we have nothing seemingly hard going on in life we can ask that question of God in a million little ways. I see it when I talk with students and have heard it from the mouths of so many over the years, “Is God really there?” “I don’t believe that God is there or is real.” But you know what bath time with my son has taught me over and over again, that just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because you don’t see God standing in the corner of every room doesn’t mean He isn’t there. Just because you don’t believe He isn’t there doesn’t mean that He isn’t. Not just bath time, but life and my journey with God has taught me that. God is always there whether I think He is or not. He is always there I just have to choose to believe that He is and often times stop and look for Him or call out His name.
I find great comfort in the fact that God is always there. I may not always understand what He’s doing and it may seem at times that he’s hidden, but He’s never hiding. Just like I answer my son when he say’s “mom where are you?” God does the same for us, He say’s “I’m here.” And His presence is enough.