Being a parent is hard. It’s not for the faint or heart and I know that the really hard things haven’t even come yet. My mama’s heart is proud and yet anxious, confident and yet grieving. How can one be so conflicted? I seem to master conflicted around here.
Yesterday I had a 1st grader and today we have a 2nd grader. That was the fastest school year ever (14 days to be exact). The thought that we’ll probably have one year less with Jenna in our home is breaking my heart. Time flies too quickly as it is. My control and comfort issues have come out this week again. It’s a hard thing to know that we did have some control in moving her from 1st to 2nd grade. We made the final decision to move her up a grade so she could be challenged at her level and now we just have to trust our instincts (and all the extra testing they did that said she is ready for 2nd grade) and pray it goes well. I want so much for the change to be easy and comfortable and it may or may not be that way. Honestly it’s probably harder for me. Jenna already knows some of the 2nd graders and I have to start over with new parents. The loyalty in me wants to only stick with the friends that we’ve made and go through the next 11 years with all of the same kids in Jenna’s class. The small town girl in me thinks it still works that way.
I’m so proud that Jenna is a smart, capable, gifted girl. I’m proud that she’s courageous enough to skip a grade and trust us. I know that in the long run this will be a better fit for Jenna and she’ll be challenged in a great way. But the stretching and readjusting is just so hard and a little painful.
I’m trusting today that God does indeed go before us and behind us, He knows the way, and He puts his hand of blessing on us like Psalm 139 says.
My favorite quote of the day was this: “I think that I’m prettier for my first day of second grade than I was on the first day of first grade.” Yes Jenna, a lot can change in 14 days 🙂
And I’d like to report that Jenna had a great day, is excited to go back and said she thinks this is a better fit for her. Now, I have to get used to the fact that I have a second grader. Yikes!